BABY, I LOVE YOU

My second baby will reach double digits soon. How did that happen?

Note, I still call him a baby, even though he can ride a bike, jump a horse and do karate kicks like Bruce Lee.

I was still in the grip of precious first born (PFB) mania when I got pregnant with my second.

I was thrilled but also worried  - would I love him as much as my first?

There is this little diary for the PFB in which I detailed what he liked to eat at various stages, when he first walked, what his first words were... you get the picture. I proudly took photographs of his earliest months and stuck them in a beautiful little album and then sent copies of his sweetest ones to the relatives.

I had every intention of doing the same for my second, of course, but the pregnancy didn't quite go to plan. I should have known then that this was just life getting me ready for what happens when you have two little people.

But in my head, I still stuck to the fantasy of how it would all run smoothly  - even though I spent five weeks in hospital before the birth, due to serious complications.

Luckily, he was safely delivered but with a toddler and a baby - who threw up most of his feeds  -

I began to understand why sleep deprivation is a form of torture.

To my shame, there is no special little photo album for baby number two or diary detailing his every waking moment (and believe me, there were a lot of those). I was too busy trying to wipe sick off the carpet, yoghurt from my hair and gulping down double strength lattes to get through the day.

With two kids, when things go well, it is twice as much fun and when they go wrong it is double trouble. Chickenpox was like a relay of itching and scratching and once when they got a sickness bug from the pick and mix at the cinema, I ran out of clean bedsheets as they threw up on everything in unison.

Anyone who has been there knows motherhood with young kids is a bit like being on a rollercoaster  - the most fun but also the most scary at times and you can't get off that easily. There were such highs and lows, I even used some of my own experiences as inspiration for the main character in my book Mr Make Believe, about an imperfect mother, which is out soon.

But despite all the tiredness, the broken nights and the tantrums, my biggest worry - about not loving him as much as baby number one - was never realised. Somehow, through it all, there was more than enough love for both of them. And that is the most amazing thing about being a parent.

Your energy runs out but your love doesn't.

Beezy boys dressing up as robin hood